Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
