If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
