why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize