Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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