She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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