There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
