how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
