I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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