On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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