is your mom at the bar?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
