I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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