Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
