his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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