guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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