Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Success! We fucked roommates!
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