Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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