All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
porn star boner night. come get it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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