I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
