i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
