ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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