Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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