Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'm really busy with my period
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