it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
ok first of all what the fuck
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