she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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