We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
