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• (631): View more from New York

  I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.

  (1-631): View more from New York

  I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  He was that good?

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it

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