Define "chronic" masturbator.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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