Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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