As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
