Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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