Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
