just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
