so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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