Im at strip club and am horny
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
