Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
