Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
