Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
