he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to calm my uterus...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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