Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
