You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize