Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
