you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
