Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
