So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
