I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
