You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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