When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
