she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
