Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
