Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
this will be a night to untag.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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