so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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