Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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