when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How external is "for external use only"?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
