Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So many bounce houses so little time
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
