Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
