apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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