do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
