It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize