i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
