Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
