YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
