i just wanna soil my oats bro
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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