well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
