You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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