I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
