The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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