I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
