We won't sleep together?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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