too bad you live with your parents still
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
