I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
