The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
