she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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