the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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