it hurts more in the daytime
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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