I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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